Hold onto your rubles, folks! Apple’s top-secret MacBook Pro just had a surprise Russian adventure!
Apparently, Apple’s security is about as solid as a sieve made of borscht. Their not-yet-announced M4 MacBook Pro, the one they’re probably planning to unveil with a fanfare and a Steve Jobs hologram, decided to take an early vacation to Russia. And not just a discreet visit, mind you – it popped up on Avito, their version of Craigslist, like a babushka selling smuggled caviar.
This wasn’t just some random dude trying to sell his old laptop. We’re talking multiple units, a possible heist from a Chinese warehouse, and a price tag that’d make your oligarch neighbor blush – about $7,500! That’s like buying a used Lada with a solid gold steering wheel.
The plot thickens, comrades. This Avito escapade follows some “unboxing videos” on Russian YouTube channels. These videos allegedly show the M4 MacBook Pro rocking some upgrades, like more Thunderbolt ports and a memory boost. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey Apple, we’ll show off your new toy since you’re too busy losing them.”
Now, Apple hasn’t officially confirmed if this is the real deal or a very elaborate hoax. But Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman, the guy who seems to know Apple’s plans better than Tim Cook’s mom, hinted that new Macs with the M4 chip might be coming soon. Maybe Apple planned a surprise launch, but Russia decided to make it a REALLY surprise launch.
This whole thing is a big deal. The last time Apple had a leak this bad, Steve Jobs was still rocking the turtleneck and someone left an iPhone 4 prototype at a bar. It makes you wonder if Apple’s security team is just a bunch of Siri’s programmed to yell, “Hey, don’t steal that!” in Russian.
So, what’s the takeaway? If you’re desperate for the latest Apple gadget, maybe book a flight to Moscow and start browsing Avito. But be warned, you might end up with a knockoff that runs on potato power and plays the Soviet anthem every time you open it.
From the sales floor to the critic's corner, I'm a former Apple Sales Specialist who's not afraid to tell it like it is. Get my honest takes on the iPhone, Mac, and everything Apple. | Los Angeles, California.