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Apple’s Vision Pro Flops Harder Than My Stand-Up Career in the ’90s, Pivots to Spy Glasses and Earbuds
Folks, it seems Apple’s $3,500 face computer, the “Vision Pro,” is about as popular as a root canal. Users are complaining it’s heavier than a Kardashian’s luggage, hotter than a laptop in July, and pricier than a semester at a fancy college. Sales are tanking faster than my self-esteem after bombing at that open mic night.
But fear not, Apple fanboys and girls! According to Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman, the geniuses in Cupertino haven’t given up on their augmented reality dreams. They’re reportedly cooking up something a little less conspicuous: smart glasses and AirPods, both equipped with cameras. Imagine, folks, walking around with your eyes and ears recording everything. It’s like Big Brother, but instead of a government agency, it’s a tech company that wants to know what brand of cereal you eat.
Apparently, these new gadgets will use the same fancy tech as the Vision Pro to analyze your surroundings and feed you information. You’ll be able to point your phone at a restaurant to see its Yelp rating or at a plant to identify it. So, no more awkward moments pretending to know what a begonia is.
These spy glasses and earbuds are still in the planning stages, but it sounds like Apple is feeling the heat from companies like Meta, who are already selling cheaper smart glasses. Hey, maybe if they threw in a free pair of Crocs with every purchase, the Vision Pro would sell better. Just a thought.
Oh, and for those of you still holding out hope for a face computer, Apple is apparently working on a cheaper version of the Vision Pro, priced around $2,000. Because nothing says “affordable” like two grand for a pair of goggles.
From the sales floor to the critic's corner, I'm a former Apple Sales Specialist who's not afraid to tell it like it is. Get my honest takes on the iPhone, Mac, and everything Apple. | Los Angeles, California.
